Date #8: Cocoa Pebbles

Cocoa Pebbles came to me from the dating website. He came to Los Angeles, however, from Memphis, Tennessee. I had previously viewed his profile and recalled the gist of it being something like, “I’m just on here seeing if there’s anything interesting. Don’t bother contacting me – if I think you’re worthwhile I’ll get in touch.” Sure, I have standards, but what girl wouldn’t just swoon when she, in fact, discovered herself “interesting” and “worthwhile” enough to elicit an email from this white knight inquiring as to her ladyship's cereal preference? Not me, that’s for sure!

In reality, Cocoa Pebbles’s profile was slightly less severe than I had remembered. For the scores of you dying to know, it reads,

"I’m just looking. Browsing. I’ll see what there is to see, and maybe pick something off the shelf. I’m not impressed by people who need to be impressed. I believe that girls who “deserve better”…usually don’t – and they don’t know what “better” is…Be a person first, then be a female person.”

Huh. Well I do love any instance in which I can be compared to household cleanser or dress socks... In actuality, his listed profession - “International Man of Mystery” - and interests ranging from travel to jewelry making and starting businesses baited me. Yeah, yeah, save your judgment for jury duty – he amused me enough over our brief exchanges (odd tendency to insert Rs into the decidedly R-less "hmm" aside):

Cocoa Pebbles: If I’m going to eat cereal, might as well make it fun. I’d go for…hrm…Cocoa Pebbles, I think. I could probably hang with anything other than grape nuts or those fake little sugar-ball marshmallows.

Me: So you think you might want to meet up for some non-Grape Nut, fake little sugar-ball marshmallow-less cereal eating, or is that too much for ya?

Cocoa Pebbles: Hrm, sharing cereal. I think I can handle that…as long as we make sure to pick out our “safe words” beforehand. You know. Just in case. I’m not available Thursdays…it’s my regularly-scheduled “guys’ night out.”

Me: Have fun playing poker and grunting and smashing beer cans against your forehead (that’s what you do at “guys’ night out,” right?)

Cocoa Pebbles: Ahh, yes. Crushing beer cans and all that…is supposed to be a secret. Just like when you girls make smores, have topless pillow fights, and explore your secret feelings. That’s what you do when we’re not looking, right? ;)

I reminded him about the hair braiding, of course, then we set a meeting time.

And those are pretty much the highlights. Turns out this was the first time he’d eaten cereal in years (What? Who goes years without cereal? The box of Pebbles, thankfully, was brand new); his career in International Mystery is supported by his day job in e-commerce; his interest in travel has yet to take him across any actual borders; he has since abandoned jewelry making, as it didn’t prove as profitable as he’d hoped; and his latest business venture is a website (as they all are) fashioned after the illustrious “Hot or Not.” Only for animals. Called “Cute or Shoot.” Nice. Also, he’s a little bit of a Trekkie. TRT: 1 hour, 20 minutes.